Nostalgia, Part 4 of 4

I’ve been posting a lot about this tucked away, wild place where my father’s Warehouse lies but what can I say, it’s a beautiful, nostalgic place to me. This is my favorite photo from the roll so I thought It would be an appropriate place to finish. In this parking lot I learned to drive my first car, a 1994 Jeep YJ. Now this truck is in fact not a Jeep Wrangler but like I said, I’ll let the photos speak for themselves and I’ll tell a story alongside of it. So, in this gravel parking lot surrounding my father’s shop sits this truck. I would dive laps around the building in 2nd gear until I gained enough confidence to shift faster and faster. I loved that car to death once I got the hang of it.

Now years later I sadly had to sell it to move to South Africa. Me selling my Jeep was a significant, because it meant my time in Charlotte was over. That chapter was coming to an end and I was scared, honestly.

I’ve had this fear since I was a child that I wanted to be friends with people more then they wanted to be friends with me. When you move to a new city where you don’t know a lot of people to can be very difficult. Fortunately, with time my friendships here became deeper, and I have gained my core group of friends.​​​

That fear of leaving is still with me. A lot of people have come and gone in the last 3 years of my life. It’s the nature of my job, but I had a realization recently that one day I am leaving Cape Town, and I really don’t know how I feel about that. As a matter of fact, I haven’t truly lived anywhere in the last 3 years. I spend most of my time in Cape Town, but I have traveled a lot in that time and I never truly feel settled.

Being a missionary is a great job for Instagram. You get to go to interesting, beautiful places. You start to collect stories of cool things that have happened, and your life can appear glamorous. But what isn’t shown on Instagram how hard it is to make friends like this, how hard it is to fall in love like this, it how hard to live like this. I’ve learned how to adjust, but still struggle to find my place. I don’t think anyone excepts it to be this lonely when you sign up for this job.

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